Current mood:	confused
Current music:	good charolette - hold on

I'm sooooo tired
I went to Anne's house last night after our barn Christmas party and it was just absolute hell. I feel so incredibly sorry for her, it's not even real. I mean, I knew her mom was bad, but I had no idea.
We came home from the party and we were in her room. Her mom comes in bitching because Anne put her moms clean sheets on the floor. So just to make her happy, we go and make her bed for her. While we're doing that, she's sitting there calling Anne a stupid little bitch and tellnig her that they'd have to increase her IQ for her to even be a moron. And I mean, this went on for literally and hour before she finally shut up. and anne just sat there and took it...like she always does when her mom goes on a power trip. So we went upstairs into her room and put on our pajamas and laid down. We started talking and before I knew it, anne was sitting there crying on my shoulder. I have only seen her cry once before and it was when her grandma died, so this was really odd for me... she doesn't cry in front of anyone. So I sat there and listened to her talk about how her mom beats her and how she gets straight A's but they're not good enought A's for her mom. By the end of the night, she had me telling her all the things that my dad has done to me just to let her know that I know what she's going through and I know what getting the shit beat out of you is like. It was so scary because she was just openly talking to me about how she wanted to kill herself and everything her mom has ever done to her. It was just a weird night I guess...

We did manage to have fun at the christmas party though. Me and Anne both tried to stay away from the food...and actually succeeded. lol. I ended up getting a makeup kit thing in our chinese gift exchange. She got a picture of Periaptor (a really really really really nice horse)and some other cute gray horse. Then we raced on our play horses and yeah, it was a lot of fun.

I just feel so different when I'm around Anne. It's like all of the world has disapeared and it's just us...and I nkow how gay and cheesy that sounds, but it's true. She means a lot to me, I mean, she's the only one at the barn that isnt a rich stuck up snob, besides Dani. She just understands me and everything that I've been through from my dad to my eating disorders, because she's been through it too.

There's a lot more I need to say about things going on at the barn, because it's really just gone to hell up there...but I dont want to type anymore, so I'm going to leave with this:

I love you Ambria/Nick!!!